Top Ten Signs of Mashiach's Arrival

10. Turns out Barak Obama's actual middle name is Herschel.
9. Natural gas discovered in Monsey, NY, dropping prices to ten cents a gallon. Large, ugly wood-paneled station wagons suddenly back in fashion.
8. Chabadniks and Satmars seen playing golf together.
7. You could hear a pin drop in my shul during davening.
6. Bush announces his "No Yid Left Behind" program: Free Yeshiva education for everyone.
5. The New York Times runs thirty years worth of corrections for their Israel coverage.
4. Muslims in Hevron suddenly realize that they aren't related to Sarah, Yitzchak, Rivka, Yaakov and Leah and quickly abandon Maarat HaMachpela with their sincerest apologies.
3. Omri Sharon has a vision of the Rebbe while on laundy duty in prison.
2. Turns out the Dead Sea Scrolls was actually comedic material that didn't make the final draft of an ancient Purim shpiel.

And the number one sign of Mashiach's imminent arrival:

1. The sanctity of Jerusalem and the Temple Mount is universally accepted... by the Knesset.


Happy Purim, everyone!